Trying-some Three's...EARLY

Whew!! Lately James has been SO testy. I always heard it was the terrible 2's and trysome threes and I believe it. He will just boldly look at you and ignore what is being said in a very stubborn way. You think he'd learn after a few spanking but he still is so strong willed. Also if you ask him if he wants to do something he will say "no" just to spite you and then a couple minutes later come and say he wants to do it. So I don't give in and have to hold strong even if it means more punishment for me. He can be so sweet and loving when he wants to be but also be as stubborn and strong willed!! I guess I just take it too personally when he misbehaves....feel people judge me for not having "control" over my son. But I should know that children are strong willed and that being firm and consistent is the key with him.

Last night I think I had my lil' breakdown realizing that I will soon be a mother of 2 boys. I cried so hard wondering how I will handle 2 kids and still take care of me physically and emotionally b/c I give all I have for James right now. I feel guilty doing anything for me outside of the gym. I wondered how I would split my time between 2 sweet boys equally and how James will share the "spotlight" once Ethan arrives. It is a very exciting time but also kinda sad b/c my baby is going on 3 and will now be my big boy (although always mommy's baby).I don't know....just emotional thinking about how our world is going to change but for the best of course.

I had some contractions yesterday and still some today. Nothing severe but I am also comparing them to Petocin contractions that were SO bad that these seem easy. With James I don't remember contractions until I was induced and then boy oh boy do I remember them :) Nothing consistent so no hospital visits but I think maybe soon. Mom was on standby last night b/c Shawn was fishing a tournament. I told him I'd only call him if it was true labor...deep down he was hoping I'd wait and go after that :) So many emotions mixed into births. It will be nice to be in Alabama and have help just across the river if needed. Of course I am stubborn adn hate asking for help so it won't be too often :). also having Shawn home will be extra nice since he wasn't around with James from age 2 months to 17 months. So Ethan will be his "firsts" and it will be fun.

Hopefully soon I'll get to update about Ethan. I know at the most I have less than two weeks b/c they will induce at 39 weeks. So August 8th will be last day. I go Wednesday for weekly check and dialtion check so I can't wait. Knowing me I'm only 1 cm :)...hehe