Done at One :)

Wow what a day!! James threw so many tantrums in the mall. Shawn and I just wanted to get out and check out the area but I guess James didn't :). It frustrates me to no end listening to him scream at the mall and cry. I took him to the bathroom but it did no good. I just don't get it. It's not like he doesn't get to do fun stuff...I just like to get out too and not feel under pressure from a 1 1/2 year old. WOW!!! Part of me feels I have lost who I am except being a mommy. I love James and love staying home but I struggle as what to do...guilty if I return to work, guilted if I stay home. SAHM just sometimes get lost in the daily routine. Yes I volunteer and do stuff but it is very time limited with only 8 hours away from James total due to MMO (LIVESAVER)!! I honestly think I am done at one child. I am torn b/c some days I want to give James a sibling but then reality hits and having 2 kids I really would be stuck in my house with very little help weighing 500 lbs :). I'm lucky now to get to the gym or run some days.

People always ask about when are we having a 2nd....i feel guilted b/c I know that probably isnt gonna happen. Not that I don't love kids, just it's hard!! Doing Social Work I used to tell parents how to parent although i wasn't one, now i have a new respect for some of them. Not condoning child abuse AT ALL I just see how unique each child is and how somethings migh not work and when you have no support like many of my clients it is difficult. My best friend is pregnant with her 3rd and I admire her so much. She is so level headed and a good Christian woman. But it is a PERSONAL decision so I dont' think anyone can judge until they have walked in my shoes. Army life is very hard. I don't have Maw Maw to carry James to if I want to run to get nails done, grocery shopping or just a nap. Right now I have Shawn when he is here but that isn't a guarantee. I raised James the first 15 months alone and am very proud at what I accomplished but was difficult. Army life is great and I feel I grow with each move but it is hard. Hard adjusting to new areas, new homes, new people, etc. I am very proud of what my husband does for a living but unless you have gone thru it don't judge. Stop asking about another baby, if it is God's will then it will happen regardless my thoughts or wants right now. Emotionally and physically I am spent with one!! Hopefully these terrible 2's will pass soon and the sweet boy will shine through again....as said earlier..he wuvs a momma!! He even told us today he was ugly and grouchy!!! HEHEHE...

Mommy Wuv!!

On Friday James said the sweetest thing to me. He said "I wuv a mommy" and hugged me!! Of course after that point he did no wrong the rest of the night!!! He now blows kisses and kisses us and his toys. He made me kiss his fire truck last night before bed. Amazing how fast kids grow. He will be 2 in about 2 1/2 months and it seems like only yesterday I was at Womack. Ok don't really remember the labor b/c I was drugged, THANK GOODNESS :).

He amazes me daily with how smart he is and how loving he is. He is definitely all boy but a sweet boy at that!

I wuv my James!!

Riverbanks Zoo

This past weekend we went to Columbia, SC for a FLW (fishing event). It was a free hotel at the Hilton so James and I joined Shawn so we could also go to the zoo there. I was very excited since I have never been to a zoo and to go as a family was nice. James enjoyed it but loved the fish exhibit at the zoo the most. James and daddy rode the train there as well as the merry go round. The FLW event was nice too...just kind of boring for me. James got to jump in the bounce house, watch fish and look at all the boats...he is his father's son for sure!!! He also got some candy which he loved. At the hotel James was very brave and jumped into the deep without any help (he had floaties on of course). Overall it was a nice family trip but we are all glad to be home in GA and finish getting our house set up.

Yeah Mommy!

Too funny not to share. Before moving to GA we bought a potty seat for James...granted we aren't pushing potty training yet we just wanted him to feel comfortable. So he would just sit on there and refuse to get down. So we praised him by saying "Yeah James, pee pee or poopie on the potty" because he would grunt like he was trying. Well the other day at Target I had to potty so I took James in the stall with me. He of course stand there looking at me and says "Yeah mommy poopie on the potty, ewww stinks". I hadn't even gone #2 but was a bit embarassed b/c there were others in there. Yes leave it to my son to say it. He is so funny!!!

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye to our friends in NC was so hard. This is where I really had to grow up and begin my career as a social worker and mother. I met some GREAT friends that I will miss dearly but will keep in touch with for sure. James and his buddy Colson were so cute together. Colson is a hugger and kept hugging James...just makes you wonder if they sense that they are not going to see eachother for a while. I loved our house in Hope Mills and was so sad to see it empty. It was a house we made a home as a family but as Army life has it we will have many homes.

James missed his last day of MMO b/c he was sick. I went to drop him off and he cried and screamed, something he NEVER does. So after sitting with him and him clinging to me I decided to take him with me. Something again I never do but something said he wasn't feeling right. So long story short, he had a SEVERE ear infection. The dr. came in and he told her "ear hurt" she was so impressed he could tell her. But now he says everything hurts from his eye to his foot!! Silly kiddo!!

http://www.youtube.com/v/NDVp9vUmdWc&hl=en&fs=1

Georgia Bound

Today we went to Clarks Hill Lake. It was SO pretty. I am not a lake swimmer but this was so clear I jumped in and James followed!! He loves swimming with just his swimmies and kept saying "I swimmin mommy" SO CUTE!! Then as we were leaving he was impressed by the number of boats there and kept saying "boats everywhere, cars everywhere" along with "cars fast". He speaks very well and talks constantly.

We are slowly settling into our new home in GA. SO many boxes. But we are getting there. James has a CARS room and wakes up each morning saying "cars". This weekend we are meeting Shawn at the Columbia zoo so we are excited.

Shawn loves it here because he is so close to fishing he can whenever opposed to living in NC. THe shopping is good here and I haven't even been to mall yet.

James begins MMO next week and that is nice. Downfall is that it is so far away, but I am use to everything being so close in Hope Mills that I got spoiled. I hope he does well at this one.