Ethan-10 months

I cannot believe that 10 months has passed since we brought our baby boy home!! In 2 short months we will be celebrating his 1 year birthday and it is bittersweet. Ethan has been a TOTALLY different baby than James ever was. I dont' know if God helps block out the "bad" stuff with the first so you will have more or what but James seems like an angel baby compared to Ethan. Here it is 10 months later and he still cries a lot, very clingy to me and still wakes up several times throughout the night making my days very long. He has recently had a dual ear infection for over a month so I know that has some bearings on his behavior. We have a referral to an ENT in the works so I am SO thankful to get some kind of answers and hopefully relief for him. Ethan is the worst medicine taker...unlike James at this age. Shawn and I both have to hold Ethan down and tilt his head to get meds in him. It almost is comical how strong this little guy is. Ethan really likes real food much more over baby food. He loves waffles, bananas, pudding, jello, french toast sticks, cheerios just to name a few. For some reason the baby food makes him scream and I don't know why?! Maybe it's his way of telling us that he is ready to bump it up to big boy food all the time :). He is a crawling pro and scoots around rather fast. He loves to get into James room and play with his toys.....James doesn't like it so much but he is learning to give him a toy in order to keep him away from his train table! So funny. Ethan has more of a personality now and does smile more than he did before that's for sure but he is a very demanding baby at times. Anyone who asks me about a 3rd baby should be shot :). NO NO NO is the answer. The only way is if we adopt later on down the road but this mommy knows her limits and isn't willing to push them :)

I am still battling mother's guilt and wonder if it will get any better. Ethan is so time consuming that when I am not dealing with him I am so tired that I feel I often don't pay James the attention he deserves. That is still so hard on me and I wonder how to make it better. I do my best juggling them and feel confident most of the time but I miss James time. I also feel guilty taking any time for myself in which I have to ask for anyone, including Shawn, to watch the boys. If it wasn't for the wonderful daycare at the gym I probably wouldn't even get that time to myself. But I know that they will be in school before I know it wishing I had this time back with them!