Pregnancy Emotions

The other night nothing else was on so I ended up defaulting to watching MTV's 16 and Pregnant...BIG MISTAKE. It was the episode where the girl and her boyfriend opted to give their baby girl for adoption in order to provide her a life that they knew they couldn't. In my eyes that took a HUGE mature decision and something that shouldn't be taken lightly. They were able to do an open adoption...meaning they would still get pics and contact with the adoptive parents which is awesome. Not many adoptive parents will go for that because of the emotions and scare. I was crying so hard by the time it was over because to think that they made the toughest decision of their life and probably the saddest but that it would be the happiest day for those adoptive parents lives. It is just so heartwrenching to think of giving your baby up...especially being 36 weeks pregnant myself. Feeling this baby growing and moving inside me and then to go home without it would be the end of me personally. I think it took major maturity on their part and they shoudl be commended for doing what is best for them and their child. When I did social work seeing parents that saw that they couldn't give the child the life they deserve and for them to sign their rights over so that child could be adopted was probably the hardest thing to see. They struggled with that decision b/c they didnt want to appear to abandon them yet they knew they couldn't for some reason parent. Sadly parenting ISN'T something that just is natural for everyone...takes learning and patience, often not given to them. It's a sad cycle. Can you tell I miss my job at times :)

We have had so many friends and even family members deal with fertility issues. It's so hard to hear because there are NO words that you can give them...simply pray. These people struggling to make their family or add to their family is so gut wrenching and it seems so unfair b/c there are so many babies born to addicts, given up on doorsteps or simply mistreated yet people we know and love can't get a break and enjoy parenthood. Sometimes life doesn't make sense and it's hard. WHY WHY WHY?!

I know we are blessed to have our (soon to be) 2 boys. I know I am very fortunate to be a SAHM..although some days it might not seem like it. I get to be the one with my children during all their firsts and not worry about daycare workers not giving them the attention and love that i know they deserve. Shawn provides well for us and I am thankful each day for that opportunity to stay home because as the song says "It won't be like this for long". That song still makes me cry because it is so true. Before we know it James and Ethan will be off to college and I'll be going with them....hehe.

I am so thankful for our boys and know that God will take care of our needs and give me the strength when the time comes to be both mom and dad during the next deployment. Until then we'll be a family enjoying the little moments in life with eachother.

34 1/2 weeks

I had my checkup on Tuesday for Ethan. All is remaining level as it comes to fluids and growth. I was very thankful to hear that he was growing well and levels weren't too low but kinda disappointed b/c I was hoping to have him by next week but guess not happening just b/c I want it to:). I'll hang in there until God says it's time for Ethan to make his grand appearance. The doctor said he isn't small or large but normal size...don't know what that means b/c he couldn't give me a weight. James weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz. so he was small. I am banking on about an 8 lb baby this time for some reason. :). Not sure but it is something I have felt all along. I definitely am much more achy and crabbier this time around. I am so anxious to meet him and to share that special moment as a family of 4 for the first time. James still kisses my belly and seems to be excited about his little brother.

We actuallly had maternity pictures done and I am SO glad we did...I wish I would have with James but I was so worried about weight that I let it control me. Granted in these pics I am not small but it is a special time in our life that we want to remember. The girl who took our pics was great!! She understood that a 2 y/o isn't always cooperative and that made us feel great. He did the best he could and I am so anxious to get them to frame. There are some that are just too precious!! James is so stinking handsome!!

I will go back to the dr. in 2 weeks (July 21) and then will go weekly just b/c my levels were so steady we added extra week in between until I hit 36 weeks. Then I will be seen weekly and I pray I go into labor before 39 weeks but we'll see. Healthy baby is top priority.

1st Dentist Visit

I finally made it around to getting James a dental appointment. I wasn't sure who to take him to so I posted it on facebook and several people said Dr. McGee is great with children so I made an appt with him for today. I think I was more nervous about it that James was. To top it off one of my friends told me that if a child misbehaves that they will use saran wrap to hold their wrists down after asking you to leave the room. Well before I got there I made up my mind that if he was that terrified that I had to leave that James would be going with me!! That freaked me out!! I talked with James and tried to explain what they would do just so he wouldn't go in blind. He kept telling me that his teeth didn't hurt so he didn't need to see the teeth doctor!! So sweet and innocent. So I told him we go so that our teeth won't hurt and that the dr. will just look at his teeth and clean them really good with a special brush.

We get to the dentist and I see his office is so child friendly and specializes in dental pediatics!! YEAH! The office staff and the dentist were GREAT!!!!!!!!! When we entered the room there was a little girl next door screaming her head of fwhich really scared James so he buried his head in my chest and wouldn't talk at first. Once she stopped crying he calmed down and would talk a little bit. James sat in my lap in the chair and let them look at his teeth with the mirror and then they just put fluriode on a gauze pad and clean his teeth that way. No brushes the first visit because they want them to feel comfortable at first. Then after the dentist looked at him he got to pick a new toothbrush and toothpaste. He was so excited he asked me if he could go to daddy's work to tell him how good he was. So I called Shawn and he said he wasn't busy so off to UNA we drove. James showed Shawn his toothbrush and toothpaste then asked for a donut :). (someone brought some last week and he got one so he thinks they are always there). After telling Shawn about his visit I decided i'd take James to Krispy Kreme to choose a donut for being such a big boy at the dentist. He was so excited. He woofed it down in no time :). The only thing was they had Spongebob all over and they kept asking James who it was to distract him......I quietly told them he probably doesnt know b/c we don't watch him :)...I am just NOT a Spongebob fan at all and James is content not watching any of that stuff...we just miss Disney Channel!

When we got home he wanted to use his new toothbrush and toothpaste so I let him :). how can you tell a child "no" for asking to brush his teeth :).

The dentist said his teeth looked great! No cavities and clean as can be!! YEAH!!

Family, Fun, and Fireworks--Happy 4th of July

This Fourth of July was very nice for us because we are finally in the same state as our family and not traveling in a rush to visit. On Friday night James and I made Shawn a special project. James was so excited to use his hands to make the flag and then glue his stars on the blue square :). Before we gave it to Shawn James was telling him about it...so any secret you need held dont tell James :). Shawn made a big ooh and ahh over it which made James smile from ear to ear. Shawn even hung it in the garage which is pretty neat.

On Saturday Shawn and James went to Crossville to visit Shawn's mom's side of the family since he hasn't seen his cousins in while. I opted to stay home because traveling or anything lately just is too tiring on me being 34 weeks pregnant. The drive was about 2 hours and everything is outside and I just am not a fan of the heat. So they arrived and did all the fun stuff there like swimming, eating, fishing, and operating his favorite remote control speed boat. Shawn said James would eat much but when he saw Shawn get some of the banana pudding I sent he climbed up in the chair and ate it all!! James LOVES banana pudding lately and it's so cute. On the way home James went to sleep only for about 30 minutes and then woke up thankfully b/c it was like 6:30 and I worried about bedtime. Shawn and James arrived back home around 8:40 and I hopped in the car and we drove to watch the fireworks. We decided to go to Patton Island Bridge which was perfect b/c we could view them from the walking bridge and they were not loud and scary like last year for James. James liked the fireworks but enjoyed walking the bridge more I think. Then we went home and got him ready for bed. He was so tired. Shawn's not much of a photographer so this is the only picture I have of James in Crossville with the cousins.

On Sunday we ate at mom's with James other cousins, my sister, Shawn's dad and my mom. The weather was not sunny but the kids decided to swim anyway. After a bit of swimming it was time to eat. The kids played for a while and then we went outside and did sparklers and snap n' pops. It is so nice to be with family and just relax and enjoy it. James has a jammed packed weekend of fun and it is nice to see him interact with family. We know our time here is short lived and then we'll be hours away again but it's ok b/c we now know that we can make memories as a family of 4 (soon) :)

Big Boy Bike

We have been pricing bikes for James for a while and was shocked at how much a little bike costs. As I was driving to my mom's one day I saw this little bike at a Consignment Shop for $15. It was IDENTICAL to the one at Wal-Mart we saw that was $60so I thought it was a great deal. James was excited too. Just a couple weeks ago he was a little too short to reach the pedals but he slowly has been getting the hang of it and we have been letting him practice at home. He is really getting it and is so proud of himself. I can't believe my baby is riding a bike!! He is so big and such a sweet boy most of the time.

Swimming at Gran and PawPaw's

Yesterday we went to Shawn's mom's house for the day. Luckily she has a pool too so James is getting very spoiled while we are here :). This summer James has not wanted to go under or get his head wet much. That all changed once he got used to the slide and jumping off the diving board without any assistance. He was so proud of himself and we were proud of him too. It's amazing how a little encouragment will spark that little fire of courage. James enjoyed swimming with his cousins and of course riding Paw Paw's tractor. It was SO hot that I started feeling it as the day went on. Pregnancy and heat is a terrible combination!

He wasn't too big on eating but these days it is so hot I don't blame him. I just can't believe how much he has grown and turned into such a big boy. He is my lil' pride and joy for sure!!!!! He was so worn out that when I took him in for just rest time and drink he zonked out. He would have stayed asleep but I had to potty and he was laying on me so when I moved he woke up. I love those little moments of snuggle time. :) On the drive home his eyes were so red from the chlorine and jumping but he had a blast. Of course Shawn is a bit more stern on him than I am when it comes to doing things but in the end it is normally for the best because I do caudle James a lot but he is my world and I don't think I do it to the point that he is a momma's boy....just so he knows I will keep him safe :). Of course I get flack for being the over concerned mom but when you are a SAHM with little help for the first 15 months of your child's life...that is kind of what you mold into. I don't regret any decisions as a parent.

Point Mallard

We decided to do a trip to Point Mallard Water Park in Decatur yesterday. It was 1/2 price night so we couldn't pass it up. I don't think we've been in at least 5 years or longer. Shawn and I both loved going there as kids and thought James was the perfect age to take there since they added the kiddie area. We also took cousin Kya with us and then met Shawn's sister, Susan, and her family there. It was great! James loved the Kiddie Swim area. The slides there go extremely fast and caught him off guard at first. He bumped his head and lost his hat but after a minute of regaining his balance he was off again. His favorite part was the wave pool. He would get knocked down by waves and then struggle to get up just to jump into the next one. Shawn was a smart daddy and brought James life jacket so it was easier than with swimmies to stay afloat. Kinda stinks b/c they won't let kids under 42 go down the water slides which was a bit disappointing but James was such a trooper and let daddy and Kya go down w/o any fits!! I love that kid. The three hours we were there went by so fast...we might try again before Ethan is born but not sure I can hold up so we'll see. It was a fabulous time and very relaxing and enjoyable time for me.